Starting Your Own Small Business 101

Step one: Rethink it

Step Two: Go to the bar and have a few and rethink it.

Step Three: Write a business plan. Then rethink it.

Step Four: Borrow a bunch of money

Step Five: It's too late now, go back to the bar. You'll be spending a lot of time here.

Now you're an entremanure (thanks Mom for that term).

what inspires you?

sleep

Note to the population:

When standing in a line, it is not necessary to stand so close to me that I can:
A - Smell you and your breath
B - FEEL you breathing on the back of my neck
C - Feel your enormous handbag bumping into me
D - Hear your ridiculous conversation you're having on your phone

Because:
A - I don't want to know what you had to eat most recently
B - I don't know you and I don't want to...really
C/D - I might steal that huge fucking handbag right after I shove that phone up your ass

Thanks

Jerry

Yes, I'm a fan. By that I mean I'm fanatical about things. I don't like much but what I like I tend to be a little obsessed with. Bikes, food but music especiallyJerry.

Jerry had an affect on me when I was but a young lad without responsibility or focus. I loved it and I'm extremely ... Grateful...blah. Yes, I'm grateful, lucky is a better word.I haven't listened to much Dead or Jerry in a long time. Here and there yes but not necessarily on purpose. It's just playing here and there. A good friend recently gave me hours and hours of Dead but more importantly Jerry Garcia Band. Jerry Garcia Band, or church as many know it, is about the most soulful stuff around. That man had more pain, love, regret, guilt, joy, talent and hope in his little finger than just about any musician before or after has ever aspired to have period. He had his own style of playing that cannot be copied. His voice poured with raw vulnerability. Unfortunately the man was a mess. A heroin addict for years and countless other health problems. He devoted himself entirely to music. I doubt he could do much else after a certain point anyway but those of us on this side are lucky to have had it.  There is a lot of Jerry band that I simply can't listen to now. This I discovered by mistake in the car listening to a version of Shining Star that hit me so hard I had to pull over. 11-9-91 in Hampton. For the most part the show is standard but the Shining Star is incredible. Listen to it. Email me for the link to download it. It's worth it. The older I  get the more important this stuff becomes. We get older, we experience more of the shit hurricane that life throws our way time to time and good music just means more. Thanks Jerry.

Medical Marijuana is Part of the Problem

I live in San Francisco, a hot bed for the legislature surrounding medical marijuana. We have seen huge developments in the past ten years. In my fair city we have "medical" pot clubs all over town. There are people in the world that, one could argue, have a legitimate need for medical marijuana. I would bet that 1 in 200 users with medical marijuana cards actually "need" it. If you watch the news or take a look in one of these dispensaries, you'll quickly notice that it's mostly a sham. Many are run by thugs and a fair amount of their customers resell pot on the street often right outside the dispensary. I believe marijuana should be legal for a number of reasons. One, the fact that people go to prison for possession is disgusting. In some states you can do more time for having an ounce of pot than for robbing a Quickie Mart. This is partly why our prisons are overcrowded. Second, Pot is far less harmful than alcohol or cigarettes and it seems hypocritical that the laws allow the use of two products that are leading causes of death globally but not marijuana. Lastly, legalizing the RECREATIONAL use of marijuana will result in less street crimes. Medical marijuana damages the credibility of it's own cause by making a mockery of it's users. On the news this morning I saw an interview with a woman who was about 19 years old, smoking a huge joint in a dispensary claiming "I, umm, like have... back pains." Please! This offends me, it's an embarrassment and it will never gain the respect required to change things in a positive way. Yes, marijuana can be used medically but it's a joke to say that that's why people smoke it.

Tips for Revenge Part Two!

Here's the second installment.

Tip 2: This one is a bit more time consuming. Take a GU energy gel and replace it's contents with mayo. This can be done in  the following way. A Syringe works really well for both removing and replacing contents. After the deed is done you simply melt the hole closed. You victim will be running or cycling and go for that much needed energy packet and squeeze in a burst of warm old mayo.

Tip 3: This is too easy: Tuna Salad, preferably very old, in the air intake of your victim's car. Mmmmm, can you smell it? That's the smell of revenge.

Tip 4: Similar to tip three but this one is for bikes. Slices of cheap Bologna or another cold cut are placed into the seat tube of the bike while the seat post is out. Replace the seat post and after a few days...Mmmmmm! Again, the smell of sweet revenge.

Tip 5: This is one of my personal favorites. It's very direct so save it up for when you really need it. The neck punch, demonstrated below in the photo is very effective. Be sure to connect with the side of the neck, not the front or back. This way, your victim will wake up for several days and the first thing they will think is "damn, I got punched in the neck". 

A New Series: Tips for Revenge!

So, here is a new series. These are my tips for getting back at someone or just if you really want to be an asshole.

Tip One: "The Upper Deck" - This is pretty rough so stop reading now if you're squeamish or if you are even remotely respectable. Some of you know this one but here it is. Someone piss you off? Next time you're in there house, go to the bathroom, remove the cover to the tank of the toilet and yes, poop in the water tank. It just keeps giving with every flush.


Tip Two:  Stay tuned next week for more!!!